All About MEEEE!

OK, so I've been getting some helpful much-wanted unsolicited advice from someone who won't out themselves in my comments area. Good for you, keep me guessing, that's what I like. (Not really.) Well, here's to you, ANONYMOUS! I have a post today that has nothing whatsoever to do with my gums! Enjoy it, since I had gum surgery last week and I'm just itching to blog about it. (Not really.)
I am currently having a bit of trouble blogging and with e-mail in general, since I've switched to the new and easy-to-use gmail. For those of you who don't have my new e-mail address, it's savedbymyking@gmail.com. Although my Comcast e-mail is still mysteriously working (baffling, since we haven't paid for it for 2 months now), I will not receive e-mails from it. Because I won't be checking it. Because I have this new, fancy gmail account. Those of you who have gmail know what I'm talking about. Those who don't--well, let's just say it's got a few features in it with which I'm unfamiliar and leave it at that. I should be getting used to gmail right around the time that we humans become able to transport ourselves by "energizing", like they do on Star Trek. 
The other day, I saw yet another "All About Me" page on someone's blog and thought to myself, "You know, Lisa, you have about 46 'Drafts' in your blog. There's a good chance no one will ever see those half-finished posts. There's a really good chance you don't even remember half of them, or why you felt it necessary to begin them in the first place. In this age of over-sharing informational-highwaying, there's the chance that people will look at yet another kindergardenish "All About MEEEEE!" page as exactly what it is: a super-long substitional Facebook status, penned by someone who couldn't finish her other blog entries, yet had enough time to write what she thinks are interesting tidbits about herveryownself. Really. Who is going to read something that gives little bits of useless information about you?" 
And then I thought, "Naaw. Everyone'll read this." So here it is:

• I have ridden an elephant.
• I often dream, in color, about flying (I push off from the ground. I'm usually being chased.), driving a big-rig, and my teeth falling out.
• I have intense claustrophobia. In. Tense. I can't even ride in the back seat of a car. I am also very, very scared of heights. Very. So I'm incredibly fun in glass elevators.
• I have no problem at all with the things most women are phobic about, such as spiders, snakes, rats, public speaking, etc. Well, maybe a little with the public speaking.
• I have let a tarantula crawl up my arm. See above.
• I used to be liberal. I am not anymore.
• I once belonged to a very liberal environmental group called "LifeWeb". (Get it? Web of Life and all that?). In LifeWeb, I created a character called "Auntie Fur" (get it? Anti-Fur?) and wore the hot, itchy costume with a bunch of protesters in Macy's Fur Salon (this was back in the day when Macy's still had a Fur Salon). I still don't think people should wear fur. And apparently, neither does Macy's. Anymore.
• I have known I would homeschool my (future) children since I was about 20 years old.
• I have never dyed my hair.
• I used to have super-duper straight hair. When I was in my 20s, I permed it a lot. Now, I look like I have a perm and I'm considering having my hair straightened. This is amusing to me.
• I do not have an addictive personality. Except for Facebook. 
• I have a love / hate relationship with Facebook.
• Although I love letters in general, I hate algebra.
• Turning 50 scares me. I don't want to discuss it.
• I'm getting old. I don't want to discuss it.
• I got something in the mail from AARP. I don't want to discuss it.
• I can still dance like I did in my 20s. It's just not as fun to watch.
• I love my kids. All three of them (hi, Goo!). And the ones I never met who are waiting in Heaven.
• I've made my living many ways: When I met my husband, I was a Corporate Event Planner. Before that, I was an EMT, proofreader, Games worker at Great America (my first job!), Office Worker (hated that), Childbirth Educator / Doula, among other things. My current job as homeschooling mommy is my favorite, hands down.
• I fell asleep during Star Wars. The first time it came around.
• My favorite color is red.
• My favorite color is green.
• My favorite color depends on my mood.
• I love Art. And Crafts. I'm not particularly good at either, but I love them.
• I love Jesus more than anything in the universe. I AM particularly good at that.
• I have several bone disorders. I blame my Irish heritage.
• I give birth at home.
• Except for Regan, who stubbornly refused to leave her first home, hours after she should have been born, resulting in a hospital transfer after 6 hours of pushing.
• TMI. Sorry.
• I am terrified, beyond all reason, of flying in an airplane.
• I sometimes see the world through a camera lens. I may be talking with you, staring into your eyes as we converse, but in reality I might be composing a photo of you in my head. (Black and white? Or color, to show off those eyes...) I would apologize, but the photo is probably going to be pretty darn flattering, so...you're welcome.
• I need to like your voice in order to hang around with you for longer than 30 seconds. If I've had coffee or a longish conversation with you, congratulations.
• Hiking is overrated. What. Is. The point?
• I am sort of twitchy and highly-strung by nature. (Surprise!) If I'm sitting calmly, it's because I am working hard at it. Sometimes, I have little patience with those who are so calm as to be  s l o w  about things. I am working on that. I'm working on being more mellow. Mr. Rogers is my role-model.
• I Love Lucy.
• I remember when phones had dials and cords, cars had no seat belts, an infant-carrier was a mother's arms, soap came only in bar-form, gas was .33 / gallon, and life before answering machines and "Press *#1 for English".
• When I was a kid, all the neighborhood kids played together in the street after school. We were told to "Be home when the streetlights come on!". Today's young mothers are horrified at this, but kids were happier, healthier and more secure and confident back in that day.
• I find ironing strangely satisfying. But not enough to do it that often.
• I love the smell of "used" bookstores.
• I do not much love the smell of "used" clothing stores.
• I have seen prayer work miracles.
• I know my Spiritual Gifts. Do you?
• My least-favorite phrase coming from anyone at all is, "You have to let her do it sometime, Lisa!" I forgive you if you've said this to me. But know that in my head, I was secretly saying, "Really? I DO? No. I most certainly do NOT." 
• I love the Duggar family.
• I was painfully shy until I reached my 20s. (Waiting for you to stop guffawing.)
• I love the ocean. And mountains. And lakes. Not so fond of the desert.
• My Life Verse is Proverbs 3:5-6.
• People comment favorably on my handwriting.
• I read "quirky" books. My latest: Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?" (turns out, they do!) and Prophet's Prey, about polygamy in Mormonism.
• I know the times tables in only one direction. I know them all, but if I am asked, "What's 8 X 6?" I have to think in my head, "6 X 8 = 48" and then answer.
• I believe the smell of a clean baby is intoxicating. If you have one of these in your possession, you should know this about me.
• I enjoy huge chunks of alone-time. Really. It's true.
• I am a truly horrible bowler. But I hear it's amusing to watch me try.
• I love dogs. I thought I was a "cat person" until I got my first dog, at the age of 37. I still cry over that darn dog and miss him terribly.
• I do not enjoy crowds the way I used to.
• I rarely use aprons or umbrellas. Because I love to cook and I need to leave the house occasionally in winter, this often results in food-adorned clothing and and curly-haired frizz that no hat can contain. 
• I'm getting tired of writing about myself, but I have more things on this dumb list that I kept for two weeks.
• I'm eating chicken after a 25 year vacay from eating anything with a face.
• I eat chocolate every. single. day. I am unapologetic about this.
• I give blood regularly (well, I could be better at this, but I try) and am in the National Bone Marrow Donor list. How about you?
• An unmade bed = a messy room! Wait--that's my mom's voice. But it's true.
• I've never understood this country's love for the song that begins, "I believe the children are our future..." Duh? 
• Something I want to do but am too afraid? Canning food. How weenie is that?
• I used to SCUBA dive. I don't anymore since ... the accident. Ask me about it sometime if you're so inclined. Right now, I'm sick of hearing about myself!
• I justified this column on the left just for you, Anonymous. You are welcome.

(This space, usually filled with inspirational Scripture, intentionally left blank, as I could not find Scripture to justify this fun yet meandering yet self-absorbed post.)